


Eau de Lust

by cuddyclothes



Series: Give Satisfaction Kink Meme [2]
Category: Jeeves & Wooster, Jeeves - P. G. Wodehouse
Genre: Inconvenient lust for one's valet, M/M, Originally Posted on Dreamwidth, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-23
Updated: 2019-05-23
Packaged: 2020-03-06 21:53:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18859849
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cuddyclothes/pseuds/cuddyclothes
Summary: Prompt: Bertie buys a nice cologne, but it just doesn’t smell that great on him. He’s disappointed but doesn’t want it to go to waste, so he gives it to Jeeves. It smells amazing on Jeeves, though—so amazing that Bertie keeps finding excuses to get close to him.From the give_satisfaction kink meme on DW.





	Eau de Lust

I had admired Bingo’s new cologne. It was called something like Mouchoo de Monsieur. I’m not much of a man for colognes, but let it not be said that I am not adventurous. It did smell quite nice. So I toodled along to the Piccadilly Arcade and purchased a bottle. It really did smell quite nice.

But it didn’t smell quite nice on young Bertram. I’d slapped it on as part of my morning toilette. “I say, Jeeves,” I said from the bathroom, “this new scent of mine smells rather like damp cardboard. Come here and smell it, won’t you?"

Jeeves oiled in and sniffed the bottle. “It is most pleasant fragrance, sir. The base notes are civet, musk, iris and vanilla bean. The top notes are geranium, bergamot, lavender—“

“Yes, yes, yes. It has a lot of ingredients. Why don’t you take it, Jeeves? We don’t want it to go to waste.”

Jeeves inclined his head. “Thank you, sir.”

It was while he was serving me breakfast that I first noticed it. “I say, Jeeves, what is that wonderful aroma?” My face was tingling. Suddenly I had no appetite. Not for food, anyway.

“It is the new cologne, sir,” Jeeves said as he poured my tea. “It is indeed pleasing.”

“I’ll say it is!” I blurted. “It smells ever so much better on you! I mean to say, it—“ With a start, I realized that I was blathering. I also wanted to bury my face in his neck. He was so tantalizingly close.

“Thank you, sir.”

When Jeeves left the dining room, I sat back and took deep breaths. On me: damp cardboard. On Jeeves: heaven. And something else. Jeeves without his shirt on. Jeeves naked. Jeeves lying beneath me, gasping with ecstasy—

“Stop it, Bertram!” I admonished myself. But I felt strangely compelled to follow Jeeves into the kitchen. He stood at the sink, scouring a skillet.

“Jeeves,” I said as calmly as possible, “do you need any help?”

“Sir?”

“You know, ironing things, polishing things, doing, um, things.” The steam coming from the sink wasn’t helping. The intoxicating fragrance floated in the air. I forced myself to sit down at the kitchen table, even though I wanted to hurl myself at the man.

“That is very good of you, sir, but the chores will go more swiftly and with less destruction if I perform them unaided.” He gave me a small smile then turned back to his scouring. Unable to help myself, I stood up and suddenly found myself standing behind him. Those broad shoulders, that lovely bottom...I’d never noticed Jeeves’s bottom before. It was lovely. I wanted to squeeze it. Put my—my—between his buttocks—oh, goodness gracious—

“Sir?” He looked over his shoulder. “Can I assist you in some way?”

“No, no, Jeeves! I think I, um, will betake myself to the piano.” I felt like a fruit fly peeling itself off flypaper. With iron will, I ankled out of the kitchen and sat down at the piano. I decided to play “Blue Skies”. But instead my fingers betrayed me. I couldn’t help playing and singing George Hannah and Meade Lux Lewis’s song “Sissy Man Blues”. Midway through, Jeeves materialized by the piano, the strangest expression on his face. Unable to stop, I slammed both hands down on the piano keys. I was gasping for air. If only Jeeves would stop standing there and smelling like that!

“Jeeves,” I gargled, “come sit with me. We can play a duet!”

“I don’t know that song,” Jeeves said carefully.

“We’ll play something else!” I gasped. “Cole Porter!”

“Very good, sir.” Jeeves sat beside me on the piano bench, careful to sit several inches away. Again, I couldn’t help it. I sang “You Do Something To Me”. Jeeves played accompaniment. That smell! The eau de lust! I scooched closer. Rather than moving away, Jeeves scooched closer to me. Mutually scooched, I mean to say.

“Jeeves, I—“ Words failed me. I grabbed him by his broad shoulders and stuck my face against his strong neck. Closing my eyes, I tried to speak but I could only make animal noises, most unbecoming to a gentleman. My—you know, there—was as hard as rock. To my astonishment, I felt a large hand, um, there. The other large hand guided me to his, um, there. It was quite as hard as mine. And then we were kissing furiously, tongues in mouths, lips against lips, frantically rubbing each other through our trousers. His arms went around me as we continued kissing. The cologne was all around me, driving me mad.

“Jeeves,” I gasped, “that cologne—you—“

“Indeed, sir,” he said and sucked my tongue into his mouth.

Things got quite savage from there. I’m happy to say that things have stayed savage, even without the cologne. However, I have forbidden Jeeves to wear it outside the flat. It’s far too dangerous.

**Author's Note:**

> If you've enjoyed this, please join us at give_satisfaction on Dreamwidth. Everything from porn to angst to fluff to hurt/comfort!


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